Rejuvenated Love

Regularly coming to her colony & finding nothing except than a locked door & empty house had become my habit & fate.
In last 6 months, no day passed without this hap but I didn’t allow my hope of meeting her again to die. In this period, I called her, e-mailed her many times but didn’t get any response.

She was scheduled to return India on 16th Oct with a Doctor prefix and to invite me at her home on 17th Oct to introduce with her family. This was the plan made & told by her. After that, I didn’t hear anything from her.

That day, I left the colony with wrecked hopes & wretched soul. As, I came on the road & was about to cross it, I saw Kajari on the other side. I shouted her name excitedly. Voice was loud enough to distract people from their driving then how she didn’t hear it? I guess, my voice penetrated in her ears but she ignored it & paced her gait.
I ran on that side & again called her name. Finding me so near & unavoidable, she turned to me with a pale face & limped hello.
``Kajri! What happened to you? Why you are not picking my call? ``
`` Actually, I lost my cell phone and I guess you are calling me on that old number. ``
``But, why you tried to ignore me? I have to discuss an important thing with you. ``
`` Rahul, I am in hurry, could you please talk later? `` Want of release from my inquiry was clear from her words & expressions.
`` No, first tell me something. Where is Ritu? She called me when she was in US & about to leave for India. She is here from 16th of Oct. Right from then, I am trying to reach her. I called & mailed her thousands time; came to her house hundreds time but didn’t get any clue. You are her best friend. You must know about her whereabouts. Tell me, where & how is she? ``
`` I don’t know anything. Just forget her & let me go. `` She said these words & turned back to leave the place hastily.
`` You are lying to me, you couldn’t even muster enough courage to see in my eyes while saying last sentence. And what did you say; I should forget her, why? Tell me, what’s the matter? ``
`` You should forget her, because remembering & loving someone else’s wife is of no use & no ethics. `` She almost shouted with a tinge of pain in her voice.

Shock generated by her words was strong enough to suck my breath & consciousness. For a moment, I felt breathless & conscious less. A dark cloud of senselessness swallowed me & my hopes. I don’t know, when she kept her hand on my shoulder and started commiserating with me, `` Rahul, your love was destined to take this end & we have to accept it.
When she returned back to India in Oct, a guy called Arun approached her family. He told them about his passionate & seasoned love for her & proposed to marry her. He got a good reputable family & profile. Her family was quite convinced with that guy & pressurized Ritu to marry him.
She opposed them but finally surrendered in front of his & family’s pressure. Arun created enormous pressure from other high-profile people too. ``
``But, how can she do this to me? She was in love with me from last 7 goddamn years. We had seven beautiful years with each other`` I blubbered with streaming eyes & complaining words.
``This is not her fault; she resisted too much but couldn’t take it any longer due to pressure from every direction. That guy also wanted her badly. ``
`` I will kill that bastard. How he dared to snatch my love from me? I’ll shoot that dammit. `` My words, body everything were shivering from indignation.
``Hey, you can’t do that. Now she’s happily married with him & let them live their life. Just forget her & take a new path. ``
`` No, she loved me & she can’t be happy with anyone else except me. She became victim of ill-will of that guy. I’ll definitely kill that rascal for doing this to me. `` With every word my face was getting reddened.
``He didn’t force Ritu to marry her, he just persuaded her family to pressurize her for this marriage & final decision was taken by Ritu & her family. Why she should have married you, what you would have done for her? `` Kajari`s wavering support from Ritu to that guy was gradually increasing my insanity.
``I loved her. We were in relationship from last 7 goddamn years and you are asking why she should have married me. She still loves me & married that guy just because of his pressure. He is the only reason of this torment on me & my love. ``
``No one did anything wrong with you. You are the only reason of this affliction and failure in love. And what love you are talking about? Do hell with your love. What you have done in your life except showing a fake love to her? Saying `I love you` or holding hands is not love; achieving new heights in your love, making her feel proud is definition of true love. You couldn’t even find a single job after your graduation. While opting for Phd, she gave you time of 3 years to get settled & prove your worth to her parents. And you, useless moron couldn’t do anything constructive except squandering your time and being alcoholic in frustration. She tried to oppose her parents for 3 years but surrendered in the end after their emotional blackmailing and your incessant failures. You were never a perfect match for her. For heaven’s sake don’t talk about love. You never loved her truly from your heart, your failure is evidence of your betrayal with her faith of giving you 3 years. You always knew, just Rahul Misra is not deserved enough for her. You needed to be something for her but you could never get any motivation from her love & you didn’t put your best efforts to become deserved enough to get her. You just took her & her love in granted. Showing love is not enough to get respect & satisfaction in life; you need a good profile and earning for that and you are good for nothing. That guy, Arun is a very cultured & nice person. He is branch head of ICICI bank and earning good bucks & reputation. He was also in love with Ritu from a log time & approached her parents when he was deserved enough. I always used to suspect Ritu`s decision of accepting you as her love but now, I can say that she was totally unconscious & blind in your love. But, she got her senses & life back; she is on right track & relishing her married life with Arun. If you ever loved her truly then just let her live unperturbed`` Dominance of profile & earning over love insinuated in her words was increasing my restless & hate more.
`` No, she still loves me & I’ll get her free from that hell after killing that bastard. `` My eyes were full of blood & revenge. Kajari`s words were nauseating me rather than showing light.

I ran to my house to get the gun, Kajari was aware of the fact that I have a gun & can very well use that. She tried to stop me; pleaded me, but I lost all senses in vengeance & moved ahead after thrashing her on the ground.

I got the gun from home & checked bullets in it. All six were on the right place. Then, I had to find out the office of that guy. I checked telephone directory of the city & got list of all ICICI branches in the city.
After trying lots of numbers, I dialed in SEEPZ, Andheri (E) branch and, ``ICICI SEEPZ, Andheri branch, How can I help you sir? `` Voice came from the other side.
I pretended to be very calm on the phone, `` Can I speak to Branch Head, Mr. Arun Arya? ``
``May I know, who is on the phone & what’s the matter?``
`` Whether he is in the office or not?``
``Yes, he is in the office, but....``
I thrashed the phone out of joy without listening more words and headed to the main road to take an auto.

`` It is just 2-3 Kms away from home & I will be there in maximum 15 minutes. 15 minutes......and that son of a bitch will bathe in his own blood. `` I visualized every possible scene that can happen after my entrance in his office. This 15 minutes duration was becoming unbearable to me & I was continuously poking Auto-wala to drive fast. He was able to fathom lunacy in my words & eyes & speeding his auto on each restless punch on the seat.
As, we were about to ascend on the fly-over, suddenly a scooter came from the left side & below the fly over. Auto wala hastily diverted his auto in the right to avoid the head on collision with scooter and this sudden diversion of auto caused a high confusion in vehicle coming next. A car that was just after us & coming in high speed became victim of this confusion & that car- driver took a sudden right turn to save us from back - collision by his car & threw himself in the divider.
As Auto-wala got off from the auto to see that person, I too followed him to command him & get back in the auto.
All of sudden, I glanced at the person, who was driving the car just behind us & thrashed himself in the divider to save us. His limbs were full of blood & hands were joined in pleading, he was thoroughly wounded.
I don’t know, what happened to me at that moment. Few minutes ago, I left the house to leave someone dying but here I couldn’t see a person dying.
I wanted to move and take my revenge as soon as possible but innocent looks & helpless body of that person shackled my legs and I couldn’t move.
I don’t know why in that moment of insanity God was becoming so interested in testing the last remnants of humanity left in me and what forced me to outperform in it?
I lifted him with help of some on-lookers & threw in the auto & rushed to a nearest hospital.
His every limb was wounded & that was making my clothes full red in his blood. So weird it was? I wanted to see this red color on someone else’s body & now my own body was getting stained with this color though with an innocent’s blood.

After reaching hospital, I rushed to emergency & nursing staff immediately admitted him. I checked his pockets to get information about him & fill the required forms but couldn’t get anything except a mobile.
Meanwhile I was checking his phone to inform his relatives, doctor started working on his wounds.
I called a contact saying papa, `` Hello.......`` a long pause.
``Runi beta.......`` a long pause.
``Sir, I am Rahul Misra........`` pause, `` your son met an accident & I brought him to Holy Spirit hospital in Andheri East. ``
A long sigh from other side then, `` How is he? Is he okay? ``
``Yes sir, He is perfectly fine. It was just a minor accident. Be calm & come as soon as possible. `` I cut the phone with this lie.
I knew, this accident is not minor & can consume this guy but I couldn’t say truth to that old man.

``Mr. Rahul, he can have a major injury in head & fracture in both legs. He lost a huge amount of blood & we need blood immediately. We got some blood from blood bank, but that’s not enough as this guy is B- and that is very difficult to find. Do you know anyone, who is B- & can donate blood to him immediately?``
I couldn’t understand why God was enforcing all humanity tests on me in a single day and; why I was trying to do best in each test. I was B- and didn’t lie to doctor.

He examined all required parameters & in few minutes I was on a bed next to him transferring my revengeful blood in his veins. I gave a bit more than specified amount because he was in real danger.
After that, I went to canteen to have some food & relax my strained nerves with a cigarette.
When I returned back, his family was there & with him in his room. I could hear their snivel. I remained outside the room & sat on the chair.
``papa, he is getting consciousness`` I overheard a panicked voice of a lady.
``Runi, how it happened? Are you okay? Why this happened to you? I love you so much.......If anything happens to you, I would not be able to live.
Papa! See, he is not talking to me. I want to hear his voice.
Runi! this life would not be worth living without you. Please, talk to me Runi, I want to hear you. `` I was overhearing same panicked voice with some sighs & whimper in between the words.
`` Dear, how can I leave you? I promised a life -time betrothal & desired for more than that. You don’t worry; I’ll be fine & with you forever. `` Runi was trying to console her worried wife.

Their conversation reminded me my accident & Ritu`s visit in hospital & this lovely couple moved me deeply. Intensity of their love caused some water drops in my eyes.
When a person loses his love, he prays for longevity of other’s love. I forgot that blood- thirst for some hour & started praying for their love.
`` I loved some one & lost her. I know how it feels after losing your love of life. Hey Almighty! This couple seems to be passionate in love. I lost my love but still able to breath but she will not be able to have a single breath after his demise. Please, don’t do anything wrong with them. Please, have mercy on these lovers`` I don’t know when my face got flooded with tear- stream while praying.

As, I turned back, an old man opened the door. He came near to me and hugged me overwhelmingly. While, he was hugged to me, Runi`s wife came out from the room. Having head lowered and wiping her tears, as she came a bit closer, I got petrified.
I felt a shivering wave in my whole body followed by a deep numbness. Thousands of ants would have felt unable to revoke my numbness at that moment. I couldn’t bear that shock and felt a hammering stroke in my head.
I guess that lady also felt same strokes in her mind and sensations in body.
She was Ritu & Kajari was holding her to support from these heart-breaking strokes.
Old man’s thanking word & blessings struck to a deaf soul & lost in that appalling atmosphere. As, he wiped his tears and left me, I felt a huge burden on my knees & their inability to support a burdened soul. Old man again supported me & helped to sit on the chair.
He brought a glass of water & offered me. I got a bit oxygen to revive my senses.
`` Are you feeling weak? Do you need some help? Are you okay? Are you fine Mr Rahul? `` Doctor had to ask many times to inquire about my condition.
`` Yes, I am fine. `` I murmured.

I don’t know whether they heard my voice or not, then `` this guy really became Messiah for your son. He brought your son in the hospital & did all formalities for him just like an elder brother. He even donated more than specified amount of blood to save your son. He is really a Messiah in human embodiment. `` While Doctor continued his eulogy, his father was sobbing & was about to fall on my feet in obligation. I helped him in sitting on chair.

As, I was leaving the hospital, Ritu came to me along with Kajari, `` I am sorry Rahul. `` And started crying with these words.
``Actually, she is not wrong. After our meeting, I rushed to her & told about our conversation. We were getting very horrifying thoughts for Arun & when uncle got call about his accident, we accused you of this. But, you were the life-saver not the destroyer`` Kajari confessed with lowered eyes.

I didn’t or probably couldn’t say any word & left the place with lots of wishes to her rejuvenated love.

``I wanted to release her from his trap but pleaded to God for longevity of this bond. She loves him. She is relishing her life with him. I am no more in her heart. She may respect me alot from now onwards, but I will gain this respect for some accidental reasons.
I am nowhere in her heart. Whatever place I got in her heart in last seven years, this guy captured it in this small period of time, because he deserved it.
She can’t love any undeserving guy; he is more deserving than me. `` My mind remained jam-packed with this type of thoughts till I reached to Nariman drive. My soul was still asking for revenge with wrong doer & wanted to shoot the culpable. I took my gun out and pointed it in the sky & shot Him six times. While shooting, I shrieked; I bawled but didn’t have any clemency on Him.
I took my revenge with the culprit & murdered some part of him. I threw my empty heart & gun in the sea. Though emptiness lightened them but sea swallowed everything along with my sins & love.

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